What We're Talking About

My aunt recently passed away from cancer and it seemed like a hole opened in my mother’s world. My aunt, who is my mother’s younger sister and the second to last of my mother’s siblings, was barely in her 60s. They were more than sisters; they were best friends. They didn’t live in the same state, but they talked on the phone nearly every day for hours. They had traveled together and were planning more trips. Suddenly, those daily calls stopped.

To make things harder, my cousins decided not to have a funeral service. They chose to cremate without any family gatherings, which is their choice, but it left my mother with nowhere to gather, nowhere to honor her sister, and no space to say goodbye. Now I see my mother struggling with how to process her grief, and I feel unsure how to help.

I’m learning that when someone loses a sibling and best friend, the grief is layered; it’s about the memories they shared, the future plans that won’t happen, and the rituals that kept them connected. As her son, I want to support her without trying to “fix” what can’t be fixed. Here is what I’ve discovered along the way.

1. Give Her Space to Talk About Her Sister

Sometimes, just sitting and letting her talk even when she tells me the same stories about their travels or conversations, and I listen like it’s the first time. Repetition is part of grief. It’s her way of holding on to her sister’s presence.

2. Encourage Her to Create Her Own Rituals

Since there was no funeral, it’s suggested that she can have her own “service” like, light a candle every evening while she listens to her sister’s favorite song or put together a memory box with photos, souvenirs, and maybe even a journal where she can write “letters” to her sister. These small rituals can create a sense of ongoing connection.

3. Help Her Keep Their Daily Connection Alive

My mother misses those long phone calls the most. She could keep that ritual alive by writing down what she would have said to my aunt. Sometimes she speaks out loud to her, like she’s still on the line and it’s okay to do that. It’s a way of honoring their bond.

4. Connect Her with Support

I’ve looked into local grief groups, senior centers, and online communities where she can share her story with people who understand. I think over time it will help her feel less alone. Counseling with a social worker or grief therapist is also something I can encourage, especially if the sadness starts to weigh her down too heavily.

5. Watch for Warning Signs

I know grief is supposed to hurt, but I also keep an eye out for signs that she might need more help, like if she stops eating, doesn’t want to get out of bed, or begins talking about not wanting to go on. If that happens, I’ll be ready to step in quickly and get her professional support.

6. Remember That Healing Doesn’t Mean Forgetting

It’s a great reminder for my mother, and myself, that she doesn’t have to “let go” of her sister. She can carry her forward in new ways. When she travels, she can dedicate the trip to her sister. When she cooks a family meal, she can make one of her sister’s favorites. Their bond doesn’t end; it changes.

My mother comes from a big family of siblings and has lost other sisters and brothers over the years, and I watch her deal with each of them with great strength, including my aunt who passed away while my mother tried to revie her. However, I noticed that with each one she loses; as she herself gets older, my concern for how she emotionally and mentally processes grows and I need to make sure she has resources available, including friends she can talk to.

For Anyone Supporting a Parent in Grief

Watching a parent grieve is hard. It can make you feel helpless, like you don’t know the right thing to do. What I’m learning is that the “right thing” isn’t about having perfect answers, but about showing up, listening, and helping them find ways to keep love and memory alive.

I can’t take away my mother’s pain, but I can sit with her in it. I can remind her she’s not alone. And I can help her find her own paths to healing, one small step at a time.

If you or a loved one is struggling with grief and it feels too heavy to carry, know that support is available. You can call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, reach out to a local grief counselor, or connect with community support groups. Grief shared is grief softened.

Useful Local & National Resources

Here are some grief supports we're either using or plan to try. If you live in Oklahoma City (or nearby), many are accessible:

GriefShare

A 13-week group for people who have lost someone close. You can join in-person or online. In OKC: multiple groups (Church of the Servant, Capitol Hill, Emmaus Baptist, Crossings Community Church) meet weekly.

Calm Waters OKC (OKC’s Grief Center)

Free support groups (for individuals, families), private counseling, grief training. Location in OKC; phone: 405‐841-4800.

INTEGRIS Health Pastoral Care / Hospice Services

Grief support recovery groups, pastoral care for loss, bereavement counselor services.

VITAS Healthcare

Offers remote/virtual grief & bereavement support groups (phone or Zoom).

CancerCare

Support groups for people who lost someone to cancer; professional social worker counseling; resources and groups free of charge.

When life piles on stress, frustration, and anger, many people are left searching for safe ways to cope. Talking it out helps. Deep breathing helps. But sometimes, the body needs something more; an outlet for all that pent-up energy. That’s where the science of physical release comes in.

What Happens When Stress Builds Up

Stress activates the body’s “fight or flight” response, releasing hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Your heart rate increases, your muscles tighten, and your body prepares for action. When stress and anger aren’t released in a healthy way, they build up, often leading to tension, headaches, poor sleep, or emotional outbursts.

Why Physical Release Works

Research shows that physical activity reduces cortisol levels and increases endorphins, the “feel-good” hormones that bring calm and relief. Engaging in intentional, controlled physical release allows the body to reset. Whether it’s exercise, hitting a punching bag, or swinging a sledgehammer in a rage room, the body finds balance through action.

The Mind-Body Connection

Physical release isn’t just about the body. When anger is expressed in a safe, structured environment, the mind learns that it is possible to let go without harm. This connection between movement and mindset is what makes rage rooms, like Rage Release by Elkae Resource Group, such powerful tools. They provide a safe, judgment-free space to break through stress and walk away lighter.

A Path Toward Healing

Physical expression of anger is not about destruction; it’s about transformation. When paired with other wellness practices like mindfulness, breathing exercises, or therapy, it becomes part of a holistic approach to emotional health.

At Elkae Resource Group, we believe in giving people healthy options. Rage Release is one way to help your body and mind let go, reset, and move forward stronger than before.

Ready to Release?
Don’t hold it in, release it safely. Book your Rage Release sessiontoday with Elkae Resource Group and take the first step toward stress relief and emotional balance.

Everyone experiences stress. Everyone feels anger. But too often, we’re told to “keep it together,” “calm down,” or “deal with it.” While those phrases might sound helpful, what they really do is silence a very human part of us. When we don’t have safe and healthy ways to release anger, it tends to spill over—into our relationships, our work, and even our health.

The Problem: Bottled-Up Emotions

Bottling up frustration might feel like the polite thing to do, but it comes at a cost. Stress and anger, when ignored, don’t simply disappear. They can resurface in the form of anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, or outbursts that damage trust and connection with others. Many people turn to unhealthy outlets like substances, aggression, or isolation because they don’t know where else to go.

The Solution: A Space for Release and Renewal

At Elkae Resource Group, we believe everyone deserves a safe space to release heavy emotions without judgment. That’s why we created Rage Release, our rage room located inside Karen’s Ultimate Treasures at 4700 S. Bryant in Oklahoma City. It’s not therapy, but it is therapeutic. Here, you can swing a sledgehammer, throw a vase, or smash everyday objects in a controlled, supportive environment.

It’s a chance to let go of the pressure, release what’s been building inside, and walk away lighter. Our space provides the tools, the safety, and the freedom to express emotions that are often shut down in daily life.

The Bigger Picture: Healing Communities

This isn’t just about individuals, it’s about strengthening our community. When people have healthier ways to process stress and anger, families communicate better, workplaces become calmer, and relationships grow stronger. By creating safe outlets, we’re breaking cycles of silence and offering an alternative to destructive patterns.

An Invitation to Experience Release

If you’ve been holding it all in, Rage Release is here for you. We’re open 12 p.m. to 6 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays, and by appointment on weekdays. Visit us at elkaeresourcegroup.com to schedule your session.

Smash stress. Break through anger. Heal in a safe space.

Because you don’t have to carry it all inside, and you don’t have to carry it alone.